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I used to be a workaholic…

  • lifeworkandeveryth
  • May 30
  • 2 min read

Anyone else have a hard time taking their breaks, or taking sick leave, or taking annual leave…


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I can say I was a big workaholic until about 1 and a half years ago. In my previous job, I would work long hours with small breaks, sometimes none to get everything done. I was a dumb, dumb child who was afraid to ask for a pay rise or overtime pay so I just stuck with it for the whole year. I would consider myself a ‘people pleaser.’ In my defence, I had just graduated and probably felt the need to prove to others that I can do my job well.


I never took leave because I thought I would be a burden. My sick leave and annual leave slowly increased with very little decreases. If I took leave, I felt like it would be hard on the other staff members. They would have to cover my role which was specific. However, I wonder why this thought never affected anyone else as all the other staff members took their entitled annual leave and sick leave.


There would be days where I was genuinely sick but dragged myself to work as I felt guilty. As to why, who knows. I remember having a hard few days of coughing and feeling unwell yet standing in my little dungeon as I used to call it working and working and working. Because I had to get my work done in time, I would work 11 to 12 hours a day where I was rostered for only 8 to 9 hours. I never got paid overtime and did not have the courage to ask.


And then I thought very thoroughly about it. Who was actually benefiting from me working overtime? It definitely wasn’t benefiting me. When I left that job, my sick leave hours disappeared. I guess I got paid my annual leave hours. The long hours of work without proper breaks were mentally tiring. Something I still feel very sad about was when I eventually left, they put out an advertisement for the position and the salary was significantly higher than I had been getting. Just maybe they had been using my inability to stand up for myself.


Of course I am slowly changing. I do still have a hard time taking morning tea breaks. It ‘ruins the flow’ in my mind. However, I take a proper 30-minute lunch break and relax before returning back to the craziness of work. Now I am taking my annual leave without worrying about it affecting everyone else. Maybe I am using too much leave. But I am happy and I am entitled to take them.


So, I strongly urge everyone who has trouble taking leave to think about who not taking leave is benefiting…


Written with sincerity,

Me.

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